This morning a friends post totally got my attention. So amply put it read: “Every situation has the opportunity to shake you or shape you. It’s up to you to decide which way it will go.” I’m sure Sherry borrowed these word from somewhere but as I read them I pondered the notion that what we do with what we are given in many ways turns us into who we are to be as human beings. For me, her post could not have been more timely. I began to think about last night and how his words cut like a hot knife would cut a stick of solid butter. So easily and without much effort words can cut you like that even if the spoken syllables were never intended to give pain. After my pondering: I am thinking that the four small words spoken were meant as an honest exchange of some deeply felt and deeply held awareness. Even so, to me, the person those words landed upon they stung and hurt me terribly. So this timely post seemingly placed there just for my eyes to see and to ponder and to give resolution too made me smile and made me give two high hoots for Ms. Fields. Reminding me that actions bring results, desired or feared and I am responsible for how I react to those four word. In other words: It is how I react that shows my humanity, or lack thereof. My actions can set me on the right track this morning and I am thankful to a friend for a simple post which helped me decide. If not for that post I would be wallowing away in deeply painful and binding emotions all wrapped up in a neat woeful package of self-doubt and painful hurt and that is not where I should allow myself to be.
The question is: What is next? Without giving too many details of last night, details which are left out of posts like this anyway and which I save for late night talks with close friends who somehow make me feel better it is safe to say, I have some deciding to do. I’ll need to give some more thought over the next week of what I want to do about this. It seems to me a real blessing that I do have one week to decide if I should stay or if I should go. As I write this I am so close to going it isn’t even funny. The only thing holding me here is an obligation to cure. Can it be cured elsewhere is the real question and if so why should I put myself through this situation one second longer.