Writing & Friendships:
It isn’t that I avoid my friends or the ones I hold close to my heart when I get the writers bug for more than ranting on a blog: Put simply it is that writing takes time, a lot of time away from those you love and your friends. I try to not let this happen. I try to triage and prioritize. I try to pay closer attention to areas of my life other than writing which also need my attention and, well, pay attention to them! This does put me out of sync with my natural mode of operation when indulging myself in the written word, though. In other words it can get a little uncomfortable. I feel like screaming at times and other times I simply cave in and take precious time away from my writing to make someone else happy. This may sound over the top and self-indulgent as well but ask any other writer and they will tell you the same: Don’t mess with me when I’m on a roll! Lately I have taken time to pay attention to someone extraordinary putting writing second. This, for some odd reason, doesn’t bother me in the least. I’ve triaged successfully and I am happy to do it. But, having written this, when a dear friend wrote to me about feeling a bit slighted I thought to myself: She’s right. I have not paid her the attention she is use to and this is unacceptable. I will attempt to do better although, it might get sticky trying.
Life is all about adjustments. It’s about pleasing. It’s about truth. Then it is about what you can live with. I can live with all the little adjustments I am making. Those are easy for me to do. It seems though that I can not live without hurting a friend when I begin a big project, and this is unfortunate because this is one thing I choose not to do but it does seem to happen every time I begin a big project. Becky expressed not too many years ago that her little heart was sad every time I dove into a big project. It meant I was unavailable and weird to the max for much too long a period of time. (in pajamas with coffee/tea mug in hand all hours of the day and night) Big projects seem to leave little time for anything else. This is why I have always said: “If I am to be in a relationship, please God. Let it be with another writer!” Another writer would understand the ebbs and flows I think very few others could. At the beginning my friends think: how wonderful, how exciting, but in the end they are thinking: when will this end! Just know, friends, that when I write I have blinders on which may keep the outside at bay for a while and I’m sorry about it.
It’s queer to me how I have adjusted to his way of folding the towels. I use to fold my towels lengthwise in thirds and then in half and half again into a neat package that neatly stacked in the linen closet but over time I got lazy and folded them any-which way to get it done. The closet police were not inspecting my linen closet at the time not that Steve is on linen closet patrol. I seriously think he doesn’t care how I fold the towels but I tend to notice how someone does things like folding the towels and adjust accordingly. This is a me thing, not a him thing. He’s simply wonderful about such things. This is a small thing but it is the small things that make the biggest difference when you are living under the same roof. I think it is clearly saying to someone I care enough to notice how you like things and I like to make you happy. I like making someone else happy. It’s a real feel good thing for me. I like making Steve happy.
I did see the Orthopedic Surgeon last Friday. She called and insisted so I went. I saw the ex-rays and all I can say is ::: OMG my left foot is so broken!!! So, now I am very fashionable wearing my black Velcro boot. It will heal in time. The side of my left foot is tender but it really does not hurt. Anyway, Dr. Bark said if I don’t do this the small bone will never heal. I said you mean not heal properly, She said no, never heal it will always be broken! So, I’m wearing the boot! I’m glad I now remember her name. I told Steve it had something to do with a tree and we thought of all sorts of last names but didn’t come up with bark. How would you like Bark as a last name? I bet she got teased like a dog in grade school.
I bit the bullet and hired a personal trainer at the gym. His name is Gary and I believe him when he tells me he is going to whip my fanny into shape. I am doing something extraordinary for myself and I’m worth it! Amazingly this is a feel good thing for me. Of course, the ‘real’ plan is never to fall again and break anything (like a hip) because I can’t steady myself but the other thing of looking better will be a real plus too. I totally enjoyed the workout. I think it has something to do with oxygen to muscles and organs that make you feel so great. Whatever it is I like it.
There is a reason ‘they’ call it a JOB….J is for Jeepers!; O is for Obstinate; B is for Bastard! As in “Jeepers, he an obstinate bastard. Then he is a nice man too. He just operates his shop different than I’ve ever seen a shop managed before. My loving boss is short-tempered to the max and then he’s as calm as a Dove. Are Doves ever calm?
Today I will try my hardest to sell a damn sewing machine! I believe in building trust in a business and already have several women coming back into the shop because they need things (advice and notions from me!) and in time they will want to surge, or want to embroidery or want a better sewing machine than they have. It’s all about building, not pushing someone into a purchase they are not willing to make at the time. It’s all about sharing the knowledge about a Bernina with someone who doesn’t know how great these machines are, it’s planting a seed into a woman’s brain that will grow into a lovely thought in a few days. She’ll come back and get what she wants! She’ll come back usually when I’m not there!!! I know, another gal Cherie seemed to always say when I returned from my day off: “that woman you talked too came back in and got the >>>” Cherie was good at letting me know so I didn’t fell like a total bum at selling sewing machines. I’m ranting!!! I’m mad at my boss. I’ll stop now, ranting and being mad.
Another day; Another dollar. We’ll see how today goes. All I know is that it is better than pleading out DWI’s or holding an angry woman back from slam dunking her wayward husband during a custody battle. But then, I sort of liked doing that. Worth a consideration? Maybe. And, it is August and tax school begins soon. Maybe I can teach again! Now, that is worth consideration! I do have options J
End of ranting on a Blog.