cont. “Not of my Mother’s World” (Chapter Sixteen-Part two)
She packed the contents of two bureau drawers into one medium packing box then turned her attention to the nightstand on her side of the bed. Should she pack it up as well. She decided no. If it came to that he could manage it. The storage drawer under the bed was another thing. It was filled with sewing threads, needles, materials and other things for her hand quilting she’d begun while there. If not packed properly the material might be stretched and therefore ruined. The contents of the storage drawer went into one small packing box. She taped up both boxes and placed a hand written sticky-note with her daughter’s address on the largest box and placed it on the closet floor. Than she placed the smaller box on top. It was not that she wished the boxes to be posted to her, quite the contrary. She simply choose the route of least emotional strain for him or so she thought. At least he would not have to deal with the packing if it came to that. The books stored in the night stand he could keep if he wished, even the photographs stored there of their time together he could keep for if she did not return she would have no use for them. Or so she thought.
Then she turned her attention to the open suitcase on the edge of the bed and finished filling it with what remained hanging in the closet. She was leaving on a holiday trip home but she was acutely aware of the fact that she might not be returning to the small house they had shared together. A small creamy yellow painted house with stark white trim and shutters with its long front porch lined of colourful pots they had planted with rosemary, sage, thyme, oregano, basil, parsley and chives one weekend during better times. She thought “if he doesn’t want me back at least the boxes are packed ready to post”. After two weeks she would shoot him an email and ask directly and plainly and accept what ever he said. The time she’d spent with him was long enough to know where she wanted to be but she did not know if he share her thoughts. After all they had begun under some pretty precarious conditions and it had never been the intention of either to dive into the forbidden territory. But once there precarious shifted into comfortable and safe. At least for her and given her past perhaps it was only the comfortable neutrality and safety she was attracted to.
The bathroom was the last to receive her attention. It needed cleaning but there was not time to do a proper cleaning, anyway she knew he did not notice such things like a spattered counter-top or the floor of the shower needing some attention. She always noticed. But time restraints taken into consideration she left it as is and gathered up the items she was permitted by the air lines to place in her carry on. She took little with her as a result of those restraints and cursed the reason she was forced to leave behind a nearly full bottle of shampoo and face cream. She thought of packing yet another box filled with the remaining bathroom items but that would give a message she did not want to give. If it came to it he could pack up the rest of her bathroom things as well. She did not particularly like the thought of his misunderstanding her actions but in the bottom of her soul she knew she was doing the correct thing.
Neatly packed she dressed in her black slacks and pink sweater with a more than fussy over-sweater also in pink she seldom wore but was the right weight for the trip. She opted for the black boots instead of the open-toed shoes she had originally laid out by switching the two pairs in her carry-on bag. A shame, she though, as she’d paid close attention to the choice of polish colour the day before. Her toes were a pretty deep pink not that anyone would notice the nice job Sally had done now. But, when she reached her destination she would be happy with the switch as the weather surely would be at least thirty degrees colder. She thought of checking the weather on her laptop but what was the use. It was December. Where she was going it was always cold in December. She felt a sudden shiver at the thought of the snow she knew she’d find lining the roadways and in the fields leading to the farm nestled down in a valley she had known as a child as the safest place on earth.
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