My New Job(s) – a reply to Kathy Z.

This one is for you Uncle Duke!

I told you I went back to work (at age 66) but I didn’t say what …. so when you ask what it was I could not resist making more out of it.  I know! I already put another check on the Devil’s side!  Dearest Kathy…..read on……….

I am the Private Personal Assistant for the Data Understanding (BS) Unit to the President of the United States but as he doesn’t need a lot of help with this I did take a second job delivering The Dayton Daily News each morning between 2:30 – 5:30 AM. The great thing is my second job will never interfere with my primary job at the PPA-DU (BS) UNIT as the unit is closed between the hours of 12:00 AM to 11:58 PM each and every day. No conflict there! During the two minutes the PPA-DU (BS) UNIT is open, 45 seconds is devoted to logging into the secure site provided to me and another 30 seconds is devoted to logging off in a secure manner as not to breach policy. This, as you can deduct gives me 45 seconds to scour the data, searching for all BS and efficiently delete it using the large BS DELETER provided in the upper right hand corner by clicking it twice, after which I do a simple report before I need to log back off! It’s a BIG CHALLENGE but I’m just the right person for the JOB because I can spot all bull-shit in under twenty-two seconds! I am very pleased with my agility at calling BS and hitting the delete button. Just last night I learned (through the grapevine) that the Pres. is pleased with my work and is considering a hike in my pay but I think I am adequately paid at 2Cents on the Dollar for each log in and I consider this a fair wage. So each night I put in my two minutes (for my two cents) at PPA-DU (BS) UNIT. Around 12:01 AM I’m feeling pretty fine, feeling like I have given a much needed service a few others would consider beneath them, but I don’t! I’d do it for nothing, because that’s the kind of gal I am. Then I rest a bit, mossy on over to the branch, pick up some bundles and make the rounds close to where I live. Oh, work. There is nothing like it!

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