If you are looking for simple answers I have none to give you. To gain some understanding myself I rented a movie titled Adam. Although the man I love doesn’t present with the severity of symptoms depicted in this movie there are some similarities. Lets just say: the movie left me with a mountain of concerns. The most obvious one is that he loves differently. That difference demanded I make some less than mild adjustments to my expectations so we can have a sustainable and loving relationship. It is difficult. It is sometimes lonely. And, at times, it is frustrating. But I do love him with all my heart and soul and I wish to wake up with him each and every morning, fall asleep with him each and every night and do all the bits of living with him as my partner and best friend until the day we die, and God willing beyond that, into Eternity.
I’ve known Fred for over fifty years although we didn’t truly know each other until a few years ago. We went to the same high school. He use to stare at me and I noticed. He had one lazy eye, was extremely tall, not all that good-looking but there was something about him that made me smile, made me feel good. Fred is brilliant, as almost all “Aspergians” or “Aspies” are. I’ve had so many interesting captivating conversations that leave me longing for more, more, more. Fred is funny but my joking around, jabs and light teasing banter aren’t always recognized by Fred for what they are. He takes things literally so sometimes I do a lot of listening while he goes on and on about this or that, usually a lengthier explanation than needed on a subject, but this is what Fred does. No stone unturned. When he is finished explaining something you can pass an exam on the subject.
No, I have no light-bulb moment advise other than to say: always be truthful and very patient, supportive and loving with your Aspergian. In my case Fred is worth all my efforts. I know he loves me deeply and that counts for a lot.
- New Job, Asperger Syndrome, and Writing – Part 1 (laniseb.wordpress.com)
- John Elder Robison: Cool Aspergian (happyfamilyorbust.wordpress.com)