I was setting on the sofa, all comfy and settled in viewing last weeks airing Continuum that I’d missed while on holiday when my daughter walked in — Pause — and interrupted ‘my moment’ with what was a series of complaints about her sister. Awe, siblings. The need to vent about things that matter only to you because it is your sister you are talking about.
Now, if it had been about a friend, she would have simply ignored or shrugged it off as a stupid idea to be sorted out down the line. In which case she would have listened (tongue in cheek) politely (biting tongue) to the outcome of that crazy/stupid idea and laughed along with them and said “I know! I know!” and then discussed how life ebbs and flows with good and bad ideas. But this was her sister she was complaining about!
I sat quietly listening. Patient. Pondering. Thinking it was like the pot calling the kettle black — which was an epiphany — and then I understood that what my daughter was worried most about was that her sister was two inches away from repeating the same misguided mistake she’d made many years ago. And that what she feared the most was an identical outcome. Judgment? No. Regret? Yes. But I wasn’t in the mood to have that conversation — again — so I left it with “we’ll wait and see” and promised a telephone call to the younger sister.
I didn’t need to make the call. The telephone rang and I picked it up. A short time later all was settled or as close to being settled as it could be.
I have this innateness about me — never one to fear calling a spade a spade and saying so to the person and sometimes at my peril (not laughing) when doing so doesn’t turn out well. But, here’s the thought: be honest and up front with family and above all else be clear! Don’t leave unsaid what needs to be said. Be concerned about feelings and be loving in delivery but say the words that need to be spoken. And, for Pete’s Sake, don’t be self-righteous! (remember that when you point your finger look to see how many fingers are pointed right back at you)
On another day the skies bluer, I’m sure of it.