Today I am having a Thankful Thursday — and I think God must have something to do with it because——–
—– I know I am not perfect even if my mother seems to think I am but then she thinks so because I tend to do odd things for her that most daughters would roll their eyes over….to me she is worth the doing because she is a real sweetie at least 98% of the time :) and the other 2% … heck y’all, I just put her fanny right to bed! So, God still loves me (as does my Mum) even if 2% of the time I fall short myself.
—– God blesses beyond belief — why do I say this? Because, good things happen in Huber Heights, Ohio . . . trust me on this one: for example of all places in this massive country of ours (USA) you would never expect to run into someone who was once your neighbor in North Carolina three/four years ago. I mean maybe running into them in Cincinnati or Columbus or even Dayton or Cleveland (larger cities than Huber!) might happen once in a blue moon for .1% of the US population but to run into someone in a smallish town like Huber . . . well, the odds are stacked against you. As stacked as they are, this has happened twice, once to me and today once to my daughter. Both mine and my daughters was at a gas station while we were filling up. Now what are the odds of that? My awesome God does work in mysterious ways.
So, thank you God for all you do even if I may not always be worthy.
I am reminded of the days when I thought I could do it all. Those days are long gone. In other words: I burned my super woman certificate. These days I run on a much more realistic option. In other words: I created a new certificate with a heading: I’ll get it done in due time, wait for it!
It has taken me nearly one month to unpack all the “rust & dust” items that we all hold so valuable and dear. All the books, all the magazines (for exactly why I keep them is a mystery), all the paintings and photographs that grace the walls. All reminders of a life lived and of a life worth living least we have no value left we can gaze along the long hallway to each bedroom and remember a summer’s day or special holiday shared with joy and laughter.
All these things that mean so much to me mean less unless shared with someone. Like the trees standing beside each other I stand with those I love, sharing and caring. It is what makes life’s journey so amazingly wonderful.
Of late I have been on a quest to remember the best about my life and let those I deeply like even love a little or a lot know how much I value them and how blessed I have been by them. Appreciation isn’t spoken very often at least not by me although I do appreciate so very much the friendships I have enjoyed over the years. Lately,one special someone reminded me how lacking I am to express appreciation. I think my heart is full of it but my mouth is dry of it when it counts! I blame this on my upbringing: strong women, women of the earth who fought alongside husbands, work in the fields alongside husbands, women who never spoke a word of discontent and who simply ‘dug in’ and got it done, I am sure at times with the loss of femininity; truth be told: I sometimes feel as though all my feminineness is so subdued I could put it into a thimble and still have room left.
But, standing beside someone else does make me stronger, the sum of the whole is stronger than it’s parts sort of thing; for this I am most grateful!
I am listening to my daughter as she saves her friend. The worldly issues of divorce, child custody and some self-esteem issues are being addressed. My daughter is highhandedly solving each, one by one — I’m listening to this mainly because she talks so loud I can not help but to listen, even if I were outside –– as she talks into the receiver end of a telephone.
The conversation is lengthy and my daughter becomes rather preachy but she is also an extremely competent adversary to the friends current position with regards to the situations at hand. My daughter seems to be effectively using her been there, done that so please listen to me approach and gives suggestions for a better, less adverse, course of action. I wonder if her friend is really being receptive or meekly suffering through the advise. They have had these conversations before. Perhaps this time my daughters words will take root and grow a flower, a beautiful flower.
At last I hear words “Education Is The Key” … but being privy to only one side of the conversation I am not sure if that means formal education or wiseing up as not to repeat the seven deadly sins — lust-gluttony-greed-sloth-wrath-envy-pride — although I do not know which of these seven were abused, if any.
I think conversations – women to women – are like empowerment sessions in which one who can gives to one who needs with love and understanding the support and acceptance to work through a rough time of it. My daughter is good at this.
After the conversation is over my daughter sighs. The only response I am privy to. I know the friend she was speaking to. I know she is worried for her. I want to say something. I don’t. I realize I am not super-woman and I can not save anyone from themselves.
I just can’t help myself–I must tell you this about my sister-friend Rebecca (Becky) R.
Today I read a post by a fellow blogger in which she/he talked about reading while walking. This got me reminiscent of how my sister-friend Rebecca would always read while driving when she sold pest control for a local pest control company back in the early 1990’s. A few miles outside the city of of Wilson, NC you can pick up the highway 264 into Greenville, NC and before you know it the road becomes a straight shot between the two cities. Becky would prop an opened book on top of the steering wheel, steady the book with her thumbs while her fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel and read as she drove down the highway at a speed usually a mile or so above the limit, until she reached the point where the highway emptied into the first intersection in Greenville. At that intersection it was impossible to read any-longer so she simply closed the book and place it on the seat beside her and got on with her day.
Becky was always an avid reader and “wide-open” as an individual so doing this was not out of her character, but honestly, during the times I rode with her, she gave me the willies. But, Becky could, over time, completely read a novel – start to finish, while she drove between Wilson and Greenville. I guess her creativity is something to be admired. I mean, in all the months she did this she never hit anything, not a deer, a possum, no road kill of any kind! I can admire this, if nothing else.
From time to time another driver would pass her, notice what she was doing and beep their horn. Becky paid them no mind what-so-ever, keeping right on reading as if nothing unusual was taking place. I am sure, for Becky, nothing unusual was taking place! But, the drivers who did notice. surely they thought the same as I did! This is one idiot woman who gives ammunition to the old saying “Woman-behind-the-wheel, Beware!” And so it went, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, until she retired. My dearest sister-friend drove between two cities, and read one novel after another, saying: “straight is the road that leads to nothing important” Nothing important meaning her first appointment with a concerned homeowner unwilling to live with ants, roaches, or rodents.
I think Becky was more into books than pest control. And this is why she propped a book above her steering wheel and read as she drove between the office and her first appointment. But, only because the road was ‘straight ahead’, as she liked to say.
I have not cried yet.
I have gotten a little mad at myself however for being so stupid as to trust in a man. This will not happen again, ever!
What can I trust in? Myself! My friends (of which he is no longer one) and my family who are totally loving awesome interesting and artistic people to hang with. But, the thing I can count on the most is my writing. “Writing will get you through” is another one of my grandmothers saying. She was a very good writer/author, actually. So, Yes, Grandma Mary Francis. It will, surely it will.
This is where I say something totally awful about Steve but I still like him enough not to do that, YET. But, wait for it: I’m sure it’s coming (at some point).